Fall 2026: ITS A ZINE BECAUSE I SAID SO

August 8th is a beautiful day.

Welcome to the Fall edition of Eat These News. In this segment, we will review the following release of the first Zine, celebrating the first of many seasonal updates, now in your hands! This 8.5×11 four paged ZINE presents many things, but we will touch on the important ones and ones that are most relevant. If I keep it up, you could have every season on paper!

To start, SLAM shirts are now available and shipping. They are made to order and available in the following colors- Black, White, Grey, Cream, Red, Forest Green, and Facebook Blue. Printed on Gildan Heavy to get started.. in the future I would like to print on Comfort Colors, American Apparel, have different versions and cuts of this design. Maybe by next season I’ll have a sweatshirt or jacket up. But for now, they are Gildan Heavy. The blank that gets you by.

The Chain Law demo is finally out this Friday 9/25 through Convulse Records. Recorded at Eat These. Pick up a tape.

The final piece on this page is the Art Gallery. Three photos taken that capture a terrific moment in time, in which I will be going into great detail about now.

captioned, “Who is surprised?”

To start, we have this photo of Ike. Coco mode in full effect, smoking a geek bar that is probably been burnt for a week. Shot at the Public Acid/Invertebrates show at 7th Circle in Denver, this was before any band had started playing. The tension of the room is real. These bands are about to rip the paint off the walls and you can feel the seconds ticking down until it starts. Everyone is ready. Even Ike. Though throughout of all this, Ike hits the vape. And is felt with a certain sense of security, moments before taking everyone else’s away.

captioned, “Hell”

A photo of the storage room in my house. Most of these items are seasonal, so they always rotate in and out throughout the year. It sets a tone throughout the home, and every three months they change. As anyone would guess, being in America most of these decorations are for Winter, and Christmas specifically. Mainly so the burning star that cuts through the white wall behind it. You can make out the shelves, and other boxes in the room, but nothing but that star is certain. And that’s what I believe hell is like. You can certainly see the way out, and it just teases and haunts you while you are lost, and depraved of what you think you know. I don’t think you get punished physically in hell, I believe you know the way out, but aren’t ever allowed to leave. Not until you fixed what you did. So no, this isn’t the physically overworked visual of hell you may be used to. Instead it’s the confinement of everything you know moving in and out, yet maintaining your eye on the prize. Maybe someday you’ll be allowed to leave. But until then, you are kept to do the same repetitive tasks over and over.

Sounds… fun?

captioned, “Direff Threp”

I saw Direct Threat play twice in this week that this photo was taken. This shot being at 7th Circle, the other at Squirm Gallery. I do think they played a better set at the Squirm Gallery, though it isn’t saying much because each and every one of these sets is an absolute war zone. During this set pictured, Ellis had brought a shooting target blank of Jeff Epstein, and Gordy then worked the magic with probably the best black marker I’ve ever possessed. The eyes are X’d, there is a bullet hole in his forehead, and in fashion, says “Direct Threat Skinheads” on his chest. Beautifully on brand. This Direct Threat is not one to be messed with. I’ve worked through both their EP’s quite a bit and am always glad to revisit. Though the Consequence may have more swag… there is absolutely nothing to be talked down upon either band. I haven’t seen that marker since that night though, and sure do miss it. Gordy, can I have my marker back?

CBM official flag

Now is the COLORADO BLAST MASTERS segment. Consisting of three masters of blast beats that span from the north, to the south of the front range. Spencer resides in the North. Enough blasting from him to supplement the entirety of Fort Collins and Boulder, and anywhere in between. Truly a master at the blast. I am a blast master. I blast in the Denver/Aurora/SurroundingAreas and definitely get er done. Blake runs the Colorado Springs Blast Beat and is one of few doing it the right way. These blast masters were asked a question, and have their answers. Of which you can read in the ZINE.

So there is some more stuff on this page, like the New Music Map, Shit I Might Make, and of course the Roach-elation. I don’t want to spoil any of these for you, so I will save it for your own eyes. Oh by the way, these are only available physically. Until someone eventually scans them and posts it, you will not be able to read these the way intended, unless you either BUY SOMETHING FROM THE STORE, FIND ONE, GET ONE AT A SHOW, or I HAND IT TO YOU. There are only 120 of these made. I have a decent amount but certainly not a lot. If you pay for one, you have been scammed. These are free and is a PIECE OF PAPER!!! IT SHOULD NOT BE COLLECTABLE WHATSOEVER.

Buddy Rich X Mick Harris. Who Blasted First?

After all said and done, the back page is the first of many How To: blank. This season, I present How To: Play A Blast Beat.

It really is quite simple at it’s core. You alternate you right and left hand, Right, Left, Right, Left, got it. Everytime you play your right hand, play the kick drum! That’s it! That’s the classic blast beat! You got it!! Congrats!!! It really is that easy!!

And thus concludes this seasonal update. So if you pick up a SLAM shirt, you will also get a ZINE. If you pick up a record or cassette, you will receive a ZINE. All orders will until I eventually run out, in which case you will get nothing. Except of course your item you payed for. Then you’ll have to wait till Winter! See ya then sucka!